Ode to Jadis - the White Witch of Narnia

I realized that if you put your “heart” over your “head,” you are at the losing end.
I would like to believe that I am a rationalist – someone who upholds reason and experience.
I would like to believe that I am a stronger, wiser and better person.
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I fell in love many times. Many times I cried.
I cried because I used to connect with what I felt – with what my heart dictated (as how poets describe it). I used to savor the feeling of being extremely in love with someone. And when things not turn out to be – as they are pre-destined not to turn out the way I want it to – I cried and made a mess of myself.
I cried over M. I cried over H.
I do not wish to relish the past as they no longer exist – at least in the fantasy world I created for myself – but I honestly loved them and I think both deserve my tears.
***
After crying and making a mess of myself, I told myself I will be a stronger person; that nobody will ever make me cry again; that I will have to be responsible for myself; and that whenever I love someone, I will never allow myself to be eaten whole by that love. Barely 4 years after the vow, here I am happy with the way things turned out for me.
All that is a product of being a rationalist – or is that really how you call it? Whatever it is, the trick is to always process everything. Weigh each probability, which will, at the end of the day, make you a better person.
***
Jadis is the Ice Queen, the White Witch of Narnia. I think we need to be Ice Queens at times if only to save ourselves from getting hurt. If we have a heart as cold as ice, I guess we can always freeze our emotions and remain strong for the sake of ourselves./JPC